Some Tricky Questions

University of Advertising
Department of Behavioral Studies.
Paper: Cognitive Analysis

Instructions:
* Please attempt any 10 questions.
* If you are a female, don't bother answering anything. 
* You can only view the following commercial 100 times before answering.
* Abbreviations used: WIRSSC (Woman In a Red Saree Showing Cleavage)















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Q1] What is the product being advertised?

Q2] The WIRSSC throws some suggestive glances at the guy. What is she suggesting?

Q3] See the picture below. What is WIRSSC holding in her hand? (this is not a trick question. She is really holding something in her hand. You are advised to see the picture again)

Q4] Look at the eye-tracking map below. Guess the age of the subject studied here.
a) 10 b) 20 c) 25 d) 30 e) 40 f) 60 g) Does it really make a difference?

Q5] The guy tells his wife to sleep on the top berth.
Does he realize that WIRSSC's husband will also be doing the same?

Q6] When the WIRSSC says "Tumhe aaram mil gaya" There is a crawler product shot.
How many times did you notice it out of 100?

Q7] How believable does the dialogue "Tumhe aaram mil gaya, mujhe aur kya chahiye" sound?
Does it seem like it was something else and then changed to suite the TV channel's family programming where this ad is placed?

Q8] When the guy's boss says, "Uff yeh sirdard", the guy immediately thinks of WIRSSC.
If the boss had said something else, such as, "good morning" wouldn't the guy still start thinking of WIRSSC anyways?

Q9] Did you actually see the commercial post the office sequence?

Q10] Casting: Why wasn't the boss a woman?

Q11]  Justify in less than hundred words why the office sequence is included in this commercial?

Q12] Have you ever noticed any WIRSSC during your train journeys?
If yes, how many times did she cared whether you exist, let alone you having a headache?
If No, well, join the club.

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I am on a month long fast against this ad which was done for some product. Can't remember what that was.

Jai Sigmund Freud. Jai Hind.
- Anna.

In your dreams...

I remember, when I was young, a boy named Mukesh used to live next-door. He used to tell me how he dreams of becoming rich and one day having a whole building to himself in the heart of Mumbai. I dreamt of the same thing. I mean, I dreamt of having a whole building to myself, not Mukesh.

His dream was not his alone; it was mine as well. But he went on to help his father in business and I went to an advertising agency. Sigh! At least he must be doing well for himself.

The other day I spotted this hoarding by Union Bank and I was reminded of my friend Mukesh and his dream. 

But what I really don't understand is how the unfulfilled dream of Ajit Tendulkar is connected to Union Bank!

I mentioned this to one of my disciples and he said that I have got it all wrong and I need to improve my English. I told him that since I am a public figure, improving anything is detrimental to my image; therefore it is the bank that needs to improve their English.

I am skipping dinner over this. And no dinner for my disciple either. About time he improves his behavior.

Jai Frank Jefkins, Jai Hind.

 - Anna.

Kavita Matlab Coca Cola

As per my general knowledge, Diwali is festival of lights. It is not about saying thanks. Yet the youngsters in this commercial seem to be lighting two lamps for everything that helped them along the way. Why can't they give away coke bottles Instead? They give one precious bottle to a woman, that too in return of a few more lamps! The VO seems like taken from Prasoon Joshi's writing pad when he was not looking! And why two lamps? Oh, I get it! 'Ek diya' would have sounded a bit odd...

I am not going on any fast. It's Diwali, for crying out loud! I will just say, 'Doh aur laddu, iss ad ke naam.'

Jai Thomas Edison. Jai Hind.

- Anna.

Looks Fast (One)

There are some commercials that leave you amazed. At the technological wizardry. At the production quality. You ask how did they do that? How must have they shot it? And then there are some commercials that leave you with questions. Questions like what are they trying to say? What are the consumers supposed to think of the brand? Is there anyone checking the logic behind these 'kickass' ideas?

The new Pulsar commercial is both. More the latter than the former. Because it actually shows how the stop motion was created. And the consumer goes, "Ah! So all this is fake! Very clever! But what do you mean? Does Pulsar need all this around for it to look fast while standing still? Is your ad a lie? A deception? Or do the other bikes deceive? And why am I spending so much time analyzing a television commercial? Experts say that as an average consumer, I don't deeply study ads. I just make up my mind about the brand and move on! Alrighty, then. Pulsar = Fake."

Now hold on, before you start doubting this simplistic analysis, take a look at this commercial. This one is also trying to say that the vehicle appears to be fast even if it is standing still. Now tell me what must have gone through the consumer's mind after watching this.

I am going on a day long fast against the Pulsar ad. I was going to say three days, but since the production values are not so bad, my team has requested me to take it a little easy.

Jai David Ogilvy. Jai Hind.

- Anna.

Who's child is it anyway?

Why does it have to happen? You buy a great commercial from a small but effective agency. You also buy in to the concept, and then completely screw it up by asking your totally-depending-upon-your-revenue-hence-incapable-of-saying-no kind of big agency to create another commercial based on the same concept?

After buying "Har ek friend zaroori hota hai" from Taproot, They have made JWT create this banal version of it for Airtel Digital TV. Where is the fun which they had with Kanjoos Friend and other extensions? Now here the agencies were different, and reputed creative forces in their own right, but the client was the same, so I am going to blame the client.

Of course, JWT would be most unwilling to add to the glory of the campaign which is not theirs anyway! Bharti Airtel should have given even the Digital TV account to taproot! Or ask JWT to create a fresh new campaign for the digital TV business. This multi-agency practice has only one victim - creativity.

Who owns a creative property? The agency who creates it? The agency who has to follow it? Or the client who is paying for it? Who's baby is it? I know this is a difficult question to answer.

Here I was, thinking "what a nice commercial, it will surely continue to be entertaining in every avatar" but I was sadly mistaken.

Sorry for a harsher than normal tone of voice, but it hurts more when you see a good ad getting a beating. I am going to fast for three days and would go for Tata Sky who have a much more entertaining commercial based on the same proposition.

Jai Jay Chiat. Jai Hind.

- Anna.

PS: Here are the two ads I was referring to for the uninitiated...

Are you, er, protected?

I was dreaming for sure. It was an Arabian dream. Like a Sindbad story. At least the background music sounded like that. First it was a painting, then it turned into a lake in Kashmir where an immaculately designed Chinese monster and her immaculately designed baby were terrorizing the wits out of two innocent oarsmen on an immaculately designed ship. (this is what happens when a design agency makes a commercial)

First the monster picks one of them up and feeds him to the baby. The baby monster chokes! (like you choke on fine Kashmiri silk). Worried, the monster looks around to find a Bisleri bottle in the other man's hand, she snatches it and helps the baby gulp down the man! The baby is saved, and instead of eating the other man, blows kisses at him!

Now I am choking on a lot of questions.

1] If you choke on food, get saved, you still would like to eat the rest of it, wouldn't you? Or would you kiss the remaining food?

2] The monster lives in water, but looks around for water! (Always mineral water for the baby, remember?)

3] Monsters, according to popular belief, are much larger than the men or the boat, but a mere liter of Bisleri (should measure a teardrop in proportion) is enough to save the choking baby!

4] Ah, lets give it a rest, shall we? after all, it was a dream.

The only thing real was the brand, but once the communication enters the unreal space, it shuts out all critics.

This splash of creativity hit me in the face and woke me up from my dogmatic slumber! Maybe this is what quenches the thirst of the new generation, makes them laugh, makes them like the cute monsters (or write a post or tweet about how chweet all this is and say things like, 'dude, this is the shite'), and by some well researched form of subliminal persuasion makes them also think positively about the brand and eventually ask for a Bisleri (they do that already, don't they? And peacefully walk away when they are handed an Aquafina instead!)

"But look at the styling, the character design", a friend from another design agency told me. "We are defining the 'brand space' nowadays, and man, its going to look so stunning!"

But the consumers are oblivious to this. They don't know how to stay protected from all this blitzkrieg. Maybe the creative strategy is to stun the viewers, just like those two poor men, so that they don't reach for the remote.

Sigh. I miss the good old days... I am on a week long fast against this, and this time I am not even going to drink water - mineral or otherwise.

Jai Walt Disney. Jai Hind.
- Anna

Government atrocities: the 'A' kind

 There are times when I am speechless. People think I am following 'Maun-Vrat' or something. But I am too disturbed to say anything about certain ads. The case in point is this ad for Central Board of Excise and Customs . (a tiny preview appears at the center of this page, and you can't download it, so dear followers, I apologize for this technical difficulty)

Oh, don't click. I apologized already.
Click The URL on top instead.

I like Hariharan. I really do. But why should he appear in an ad that looks like produced and directed by a bureaucrat? He appears to be bored to death. He also plays tabla on the piano! (must be his way of protesting against the script). My fellow Indians, the time has come to speak out against the torturous government departmental advertisements. These are so horrible, that nobody uploads them on YouTube, nobody speaks about them (perhaps because nobody understands them), and sadly, nobody notices them!

They are badly shot, badly produced (there are about 28 producers empaneled by the Directorate of Public Relations & Publicity. I don't think they would be getting any real advertising film work. With a portfolio filled with messages released in public interest, (or shall I say disinterest) how can they?

The reality is that the messages of public interest or public service ads need to rise above the noise levels of marketing communication to have any effect. But I don't think DPPR ever consults the real magicians of the advertising world. With the less-than-one-percent money (as I suspect) finally reaching the producers, who would want to touch it? Hey, I have an idea! DPPR should convince Cannes to create a separate category for these ads! Then see how hotshot creatives will line up with ideas!

In all fairness, perhaps Hariharanji did this ad for a good cause free of cost! ("Well, more for us, then!", whispers the democratically elected client).

Jai Powers That Be. Jai Hind.

- Anna